Growing and Learning

These little sponges amaze me.  When Little Miss got here she barely would even take her middle 3 fingers out of her mouth.  Now she talks and giggles and babbles constantly.  I remember having to count to see if she knew at leasat 8 words at her first doctors visit.  Now I don't think I can count how many words because she has so many.  Her favorites are more, bup(cup), Prince (the cat), and baby.  She loves to play with her baby dolls, play in her kitchen, kiss the kitten, and have bows put in her hair. She will remove the bows or any shoes you place on her feet fairly quickly but she still enjoys them.  

At night I always pray for her before putting her in her crib.  She repeats "Jesus" and "Amen" with me.  She almost always sleeps through the night.  She is not a fan of being woken up.  Her faovrite activity is being picked up or eating.  If she can do both at once she is on cloud 9.

Little Man has a cute vocabulary.  The letter L is a bit tricky for him.  You never realize how many words have an L until you have a 4 year old that cannot pronounce it correctly.  His favorite thing to ask is why.  Isn't that a favorite for every one his age?  He is very inquisitive and also inisghtful.  He notices things in his world that I don't even notice frequently.  He enjoys going on walks or riding his bike if he can. 

Right now his bike is out of commision because he used a plastic toy tool to unscrew his training wheels.  We cannot find the nut he unscrewed.  Stephen's goal this weekend is to fix that little problem.  Maybe we have a future engineer on our hands. 

Little Man loves playing outside and going to eat at resteraunts.  It is a punishment to him if we say we can't go out to eat because of his behavior.  That has happened a few times lately.  He does not enjoy it.  I don't eitther.  I love someone else making my food and cleaning it up.

I work really hard to ensure that most meals are healthy for them.  They both do great with eating.  Little Miss has more than 3 helpings of everything at dinner tonight.  Little Man can be a bit pickier.  They both love fruit and could eat that all day.  It doesn't matter if it is a banana or berries or grapes.  They are both good with veggies too, especially green beas or anything covered in cheese.  

I love that they are both great shoppers too.  I can take them both to the mall and everyone has a great time.  

Both enjoy reading at night before bed, although some nights Little Miss is too tired and fussy so she just goes straight to bed.  If something causes the little guy to not read before bed he gets very upset.  For a while he made us read Dino Trux every night.  Now he has moved past that stage.  He now does this weird thing where he has to read a book from the bottom shelf, place it on the second shelf when we are done, and read another one from that shelf the next day.  Once he has read each book he begins reading the opposite way, always returning the book to the next shelf.  I guess this is his systematic way of keeping track of which ones he has read.  I love it.  I did NOT teach it to him.  He likes doing it and decided on this strategy on his own.  

I could sit here and list a million likes and dislikes of these guys.  I want to so that i can go back and read this later in life.  But I also know that i hve to be up at 5:15 so I can get them up by 6 for school.  So maybe typing for hours on end tonight isn't the best idea.  Goodnight little blog.  

What Is Right Isn't Always Clear

Am I too hard on my kids?  We run a structured house with clear boundaries.  We have high expectations.  While I know these are good things to have in place so our kids can thrive and grow and feel safe I often wonder if it's too much.  Am I asking too much of such tiny little guys?  

Little Man has been having trouble lately.  He loves to yell no.  He likes to refuse instructions at home and at school.  We don't accept that behavior.  He is given choices usually but yelling no is most often not one of the choices he has.  We have consequences for that behavior.  We discuss times when it is ok to say no the adults that are helping keep us safe and teach us.  He still struggles.  We are at a loss for what else to do.  So now what?  Ease up on the little guy?  Stick to our guns and continue frequent time outs?  Is there an inbetween?

When I question this and myself I feel even worse because this is one of those situations where I feel I'd like a mothers opinion.  I have my sister for support.  It is amazing.  I love her and she is always there.  But sometimes a girl just needs a mom, or so I hear.  Maybe missing out on that aspect is what has been getting me a bit down lately.  It is hard being a mom, especially without one.  

There have been times in my life that my aunt or grandmothers have stepped up to the plate.  They didn't have to but they did because they love me.  I am greatlful for that.  So why hasn't anyone now?  The only person from my side of the family that has even contacted us have been my sister.  Nobody else has so much as called or sent the kids cards (excet Little Man's BDay and Xmas).  Why have they left me and my new little family alone?  Isn't beginning motherhood when a girl usually has her families support the most?  Wasn't I the one that threw both cousins wedding and baby showers?  Didn't I go take care of their kids when they were born?  So where is that support when I need it?

But maybe this is just another oportunity for me to remember who has my back.  I keep repeating the verse, I know the plans I have for you.  I don't know why I feel this way, why Little Man is struggling, or why my familt is acting as they are.  But someone does.  And in the end it will all work out even better than I can imagine.  So for now I keep my chin up and keep doing my moommy thing.  I assume what we are doing is best until I realize there is something better.  And I treasure each day with my babies since I dont know how many I have.  

Split

Sometimes I don't know how to feel.  I feel for their bio mom.  She's trying.  She is doing what CPS has told her to do. She's doing her best because she loves her kids.  She's probably not supported by great friends and family like I am.  She may not have much of an education.  For whatever reason she struggles.  

But how can I not half hope she gets her kids back?  She loves them and will do her best to care for them as best as she can.  So many kids are dealing with far worse issues.  

But I want them.  We have loved them from day one. We can give them so much more.  We have the family support, education, and financial means to more than meet all of their needs.  And we can't picture our life without them.  

So what do I do?  Nothing.  There is nothing I can do.  I just wait for whatever our future holds and keep loving them like they deserve.  

It's all in Gods hands which is great because I clearly don't know what's best.  

Roller Coaster

Wow. Three and a half months later and life is great.  Everyone is mostly into routines.

 Little man thrives with them.  Night terrors are short and infrequent for him. He had a tiny rough patch and I predict as different road bumps come along more issues will arise.    Right now he is in love with all things Frozen.  He is also getting good at writing his name, saying his letters, and can count to 11 usually.  He loves to read books and ride his Lightening MacQueen bike.  

Little Missy is a sponge.  She's learning new words every day.  My favorite right now is amen.  She says it after our prayers every night. She likes to talk tell us if she has a dirty diaper but refuses to use the potty.  She likes to make her babies go though.  She's super attached to her bup(cup) and loves being picked up and snuggled.  

We had the best Christmas!   The kids enjoyed the mountain of goodies Santa brought.  Auntie T came over and spent the holiday with us.  Little Man had previously asked Santa for 2 presents.  He more than delivered.  Little Miss even enjoyed opening gifts.  She just stopped and wanted to play with a toy each time she opened it.  

Santa did a good job picking out a gift for me as well.  He bought me a mug that says mom.   How did he know?

We had a court hearing last month.  My MIL came with me.  It was fairly uneventful.  Our next court date isn't until May.  

We still don't have much of a long term update.  Hopefully by this summer we will know more.