Fire Inspection Done

We are one step closer to be officially licened to foster so tat our 2 sweet loves could come home and become a part of our fmaily in hopes of an eventual adoption.  We are just awaiting final word from both case managers and their supervisors.  We will continue to wait and see.

Unti then I am excited to see them this weekend.  This will be our first full weekend with them.  2 Nights of fun and love!  They will also meet my inlaws.  We will see how that goes.  

I feel that I should be getting extra done at work in case I need to take a week or two off from work.  I would be more than excited about that!

I have begun researching day cares.  We will see what happens.  I'll take my research a bit further once I know more.  

Back to the waiting game...

Let's Get This Party Started

There is nothing like a conversation at 6 am with your husband that will change your whole life.  This morning he said we should for sure persue fostering these 2 love bugs.  I am super excited.  We know that it is not a guarantee.  These babies still have a long road ahead to become legally free to adopt.  At least we can be there for them until they find a forever home, hopefully ours.  

Right now whil they sleep I pray for their future and for ours.  I also look at Pinterest and find cute things we just HAVE to have.  

Our first hurdle is getting the case managers to agree that this is the best choice.  We are not officially licences to foster yet.  Case managers have been emailed.  We will wait and see what the future holds.  Only time will tell.  Until then...I'm off to search for the best high chairs.  We need that one ASAP.  

No Shower and I Don't Care!

Well we made it to Saturday.  When little man saw me he came running for a big hug.  That just made my day!  LIttle miss had the greatest smile when I picked her up.  We have had a great afternoon.  We went to the Pecan Street Festival so that they could go to the petting zoo.  I think they enjoyed it.  We also had ice scream (sno cones) which left the little cuties covered in blue.  

We still don't know what the future holds.  I prayed over both of these lovelies as I put them down to bed.  I pray that they find a safe forever home wherever it is supposed to be.  I pray that if it is with us we can be the best parents possible.  If it isn't with us I pray that I can be strong enough to handle missing them.  I pray for guidance we try and figure out what we are supposed to do.  

Tonight Little Man and I were reading before bed.  He chose one of the Veggie Tales stories.  When I read it to him and it mentioned listening to God he said, "We learned about God at chruch."  Yes, we sure did.  We will learn even more about him tomorrow at church.  I can't wait!

We also were able to spend a little bit of time outside showing the kids the telescope.  I don't really think Little Miss knew or cared what we were doing.  The boys sure did enjoy it though.  For once in his life Stephen took a photo with a kid and SMILED.  It is a miracle.  

Next weekend we plan on having them for 2 nights and taking them to a UT game.  We will see how that goes.  

I had better get to sleep.  Who knows who will wake me up first.  Will it be a cute little girl, a fun little boy, or one of these cats that is getting on my nerves right now?  Either way I know a full nights sleep is not very likely to happen.  I had better enjoy what rest I can get.  

Hurry Up

I cannot wait for Saturday afternoon.  We will get to spend another weekend with two little cuties!  I am beyond impatient.  I cannot keep those sweeties out of my mind.  We still don't know what the long term plan is.  I doubt we do know for a while.  

In the mean time we will continue working to persue our foster certification.  I have our fire inspection next Tuesday.  The county said they cannot schedule our health inspection until early December.  We submitted their letter stating that.  We submitted all of the rest of the required paperwork.  I guess nowe we are playing the waiting game again.

We still have not decided if we want to for sure foster these darlings or just try and continue to have fun with them on weekends until their future is a bit more solid.  CUrrently the state is attemtping to locate extended family for placement.  It seems they are having a little bit of trouble doing that. 

We would love it if they could stay in their current foster home a bit longer since we they are so great about letting us keep the kids.  It would also be beneficial because it would keep the kids from moving around so much.  We will just have to wait and see what the future holds.  

However and whenever our family is supposed to expand it will.  Until then we wait, pray, and try not to be too overly anxious!  

Who Knows?!?!?!?!??

I have had a lot of "bad" days lately.  I keep getting anxious, stressed, or upset.  It is usually at times when it doesn't make sense.  I can't keep my mind off of my kids.  I don't know them or where they are but I love them and pray for them constantly.  While I know that the lord will lead them to me at the right time I still can't keep my mind at ease.

This weekend was crazy.  We have friends providing foster care.  We met them when they sat next to us throughout our classes.  I may not always agree with 100% of their decisions but I support their interest in fostering.  I wish we could.  Stephen has always said that he can't parent kids that aren't his.  Adoption is different.  We know that the end result is them as our kids.  He can love them like they deserve.  The idea of kids coming and going scares him and he doesn't think he can do it.

I always support my husbands ideas/thoughts about adoption.  We don't always agree but I always back him.  I say 3 or 4.  He say's 2 or 3.  We go with what he says.  He is more particular about what types of children we would be able to parent.  I take his lead.

When the friends that foster emailed and wanted us to provide respite care I was fine with it.  At first Stephen said no.  We had a busy weekend already scheduled.  We have been very busy lately.  But ultimately he didn't care since he knew I would be the one "dealing with them" most of the time.

I went ahead and agreed to watch them Saturday night.  I figured we would get them, feed them dinner, play a bit, bedtime, church, lunch, return home.  Easy cheesy right?  We arranged the whole thing via email.  I heard parts of their story as well.

By Saturday night I went downstairs and talked to Stephen for a few minutes before we started in on baths.  He said he thought I should email our case manager and tell her we wanted her to keep us updated on them in case they became legally free for adoption.  Of course I agreed!

Stephen doesn't do bath times.  I'm fine with that.  I did ask him to help me by watching one kid while I bathed the other.  He agreed.  He sat and read with each kid in turn.  Once I had them both bathed and dressed I told him I was done and he could be relieved of his duties.  He didn't.  He kept on reading.  Since he hates reading and had a video game he was in the middle of the fact that he decided to read to the little rambunctious boy was amazing.

Sunday morning I took the kids to church.  I hadn't slept well, mostly due to the cats and my own stress.  Still we made a donut run and made it on time.  Little Man did great going into his classroom.  Little Missy stayed with me.  She was great.  I held her and rocked her throughout most of church.  We had to make an escape to the cry room for the last few minutes.  Afterwards we met Stephen for lunch.  The kids went down for naps fairly easily.  Little Man does have a little bit of a desire to be right and repeat himself when he  disagrees.  He repeated NO for 15 minutes straight because he wanted a bath before nap and I said no. Nonetheless they fell asleep and I got a little rest at the same time.

Afterwards we went to the park.  The kids loved it.  I had a great time, even if my butt was sweating much more than I care to experience.  We came home just in time to meet up with their foster parents.

Before they arrived I asked Stephen if he thought we could offer to help them out and watch them again next weekend for a night.  He felt that we should offer to help each weekend until a permanency plan in put in place.

We have told the foster parents who were ecstatic.  Because of the needs of their biological child they are struggling with this placement.  They do not feel it is a good fit.  They would be more than happy to have us watch the sweeties for a night or two on weekends.

We also emailed out case manager and updated her on our desires.  We will see what she says.

The way we see it we can at least give these kiddos some fun on weekends for a few weeks.  Ideally we would like to see them on weekends and whenever needed as a means of helping their current foster placement in hopes that they could stay where they are at rather than being moved long enough to get an idea of their placement needs.  The state is still trying to communicate with extended family to see if anyone is willing and able to take the kids.  In the event that none come forward and they are not reunited with their biological parents we would love to be their parents.

This is a lot of speculating.  We really know nothing right now.  All I know now is hope that these kids find the loving and safe home they deserve.  I also know that despite what he says my husband has a huge heart that is open and ready to father some little babies.

Up and Down and Up and Down

The call we have waited months...really years...finally came.  You are going to be a mom.  They picked you.  All we have left is to take the recommendation to the judge and then we can start transitioning the kids.  We were told the judge almost always agrees with the case manager in situations like this.  Apparently that wasn't the case.  Rather than place those 2 sweet kids with us they would prefer to broadcast the kids again and see if anyone else would like to parent them.  It's heartbreaking.

I don't know why we weren't chosen.  I guess I don't need to know.  It just means that whoever is out there waiting for us to parent them is still waiting.  The time must not be right.  In my mind and in my heart I know that.  It still doesn't make the waiting easier.

Occasionally I have a great deal of anxiety.  I wish I knew how to remove that completely.

The good news it will all be worth it in the end.  When our kids get home everything will have been more than worth it.  We are waiting to hear back about yet another sibling set.  We will see what comes of that.  So far the 24 kids/siblings groups we have inquired on have not gone anywhere.  Who knows.  In the right time it will all work out.  Until then I'll watch Ellen, work a lot, and try and find ways to keep my mind off of what our future family will look like and when it will grow.