Sleep - Sleep is precious. So previous. For the first 2 weeks I was getting between 2 and 3 hours of it at night, if I could sleep at all. My 2 darlings took turns waking up all night. It was hard. Really hard. Finally we have things settled down in the sleep department. Little Miss still occasionally wakes up around 3 am. I can usually get her back to sleep by going in, giving her back her snuggler that is probably across the crib, rubbing her back, and singing for a minute or two.
Night Terrors - These suck! It's not a nightmare. He never wakes up from it. But they scare the heck out of Stephen and I. Little man supposedly used to have them all the time. He had a really bad one that lasted almost 20 minutes his second night here. He had another one that lasted less than 2 minutes a few nights ago. Otherwise as far as we have observed he hasn't had any. We are very excited. That tells us he feels safe and is sleeping well. It also means more sleep for us. Super Yay! When he does have a night terror you feel so helpless. You can't wake him. You have to stand there and watch him thrash around in his bed and scream. Mostly he just yells no over and over again. His tiny body clearly doesn't look comfortable. We stand next to the bed and make sure he doesn't fall off as he is thrashing around. Eventually he settles back down and sleeps. I am so happy that he hasn't had these anymore recently. I pray they stay away for good.
Counseling - You would think it would be easy to get a kid help if he needs it. But nope. It's not. He previously had a play therapist. She apparently came about every 2 weeks or so and watched him play at school. She couldn't tell me anything about him, his needs, her concerns. She said he played well with the kids at day care. Obviously I can't keep her around. I need to find someone that can actually HELP him as he tries to cope and make sense of the craziness he's witnessed lately. It is ridiculously hard to get a good therapist. They either don't ever call back, won't see him, or can't see him for almost 2 months. While I know he is not in any kind of mental emergency there is no way for the counselors to know that.
It took many, many phone calls for me to find a good play therapist. I will go tomorrow to see her. She wanted to meet with me before meeting with him so that we could discuss the family dynamics. Hopefully she can tell me what I'm doing wrong. Maybe she'll even tell me I'm doing a thing or two right. We'll see how it goes with her. I get a good vibe from her. She has a ton of experience with kids who have experienced trauma early in life, especially those related to foster and adoption.
Day Care - Yikes. I have to drop my kiddos off every day during the work week starting tomorrow. I'm a little nervous. I am also slightly glad I can run errands without them for a few minutes. I don't start back to work until Monday so we are easing on into this new world. I will have to have my kids at their school by 6:45 every morning. I will have to leave here no later than 6:30 with 4 lunches packed and everyone dressed. I don't know how easy that will be at first. But we will manage.
I don't know how good this day care is either. Instead of me visiting several, taking recommendations from neighbors, etc. I had to choose one at the spur of the moment because that is what their case manager needed me to do. Since we didn't plan on fostering I always assumed I could do day care my own way. Since we are fostering we have to use the state approved places. Hopefully all will go well though. I'm sure it will.
The really sad part is that they can't miss very many days. So when they have visits I will have to drop them off at date care afterwards. During the summer I will have to take them to day care, at least for a little while. Even when we have Thanksgiving and Christmas break I will have to take them. :( I guess it might be good for them to stick to their routine. The good news is it doesn't matter how long I take them. I can drop them off for lunch and nap time and then go right back and get them.
Naps - This is generally not the same thing as sleep. While I will admit to laying down some during those first overly exhausted weeks sleep is usually not something I get during nap time. This is my time to get something done. While I ranges from 1-3 hours and I can't tell which it will be I can usually count on this time to get a few things crossed off my to do list. Which is great since I usually find a few things to add to it during this time as well. We will see how much longer I can keep Little Mr. taking a nap. Sometimes he sleeps now. Sometimes he just lays there. Little Missy always naps well!
Sick - We have survived our first stomach bug. Little Missy and I both had it. It was bad. We were both sick to our tummies, tired, cranky, and feeling horrible. But I still had to be mom. I don't think I would have made it through that nasty time if it wasn't for my hubby, and especially for my sister.
Sisters - Speaking of which, mine is the best. Not only did she come down and take care of me and my kids when we were sick but she helped me clean and sanitize my house, let me take a nap, and even filled my car up with gas. She is a rock star sister. She is also a great aunt. The kids loved her. I wish she lived closer so they could get to know her even better.
TV - I'm a huge fan of little to NO TV for my kids. I have not let Little Missy watch it at all. I can't lie. I have used it with Little Man a few times already. When we were sick and sleep deprived I did let him watch Mickey Mouse (2 episodes!!!) simply so that I could put his sister down for a nap. I may or may not have fallen asleep on the chair next to him while he watched it.
We also use movie nights as a reward. Bedtimes have been rough, sometimes really rough. We began a system where he earns a smiley face if he goes to bed like a big boy. Once we gets all of his smiley faces he was supposed to get to stay up late. We let him watch a movie the first time he did that. It worked so well that we have just kept it up. As he is getting better and better we are making him earn more smiley faces to get his reward. So far we have watched the Great Mouse Detective and Frozen, both chosen by Big Steve.
Want more updates? Maybe I'll try and give you a few more later this week while they are at school.
