Motherhood

Life is great and crazy and hectic and tiresome and amazing all at once!  I've got my 2 little loves sleeping just a few rooms away.  My hubby has been above and beyond amazing.  I guess I can catch you up on a few details.

Sleep - Sleep is precious.  So previous.  For the first 2 weeks I was getting between 2 and 3 hours of it at night, if I could sleep at all.  My 2 darlings took turns waking up all night.  It was hard.  Really hard.  Finally we have things settled down in the sleep department.  Little Miss still occasionally wakes up around 3 am.  I can usually get her back to sleep by going in, giving her back her snuggler that is probably across the crib, rubbing her back, and singing for a minute or two.

Night Terrors - These suck!  It's not a nightmare.  He never wakes up from it.  But they scare the heck out of Stephen and I.  Little man supposedly used to have them all the time.  He had a really bad one that lasted almost 20 minutes his second night here.  He had another one that lasted less than 2 minutes a few nights ago.  Otherwise as far as we have observed he hasn't had any.  We are very excited.  That tells us he feels safe and is sleeping well.  It also means more sleep for us.  Super Yay!  When he does have a night terror you feel so helpless.  You can't wake him.  You have to stand there and watch him thrash around in his bed and scream.  Mostly he just yells no over and over again.  His tiny body clearly doesn't look comfortable.  We stand next to the bed and make sure he doesn't fall off as he is thrashing around.  Eventually he settles back down and sleeps.  I am so happy that he hasn't had these anymore recently.  I pray they stay away for good.

Counseling - You would think it would be easy to get a kid help if he needs it.  But nope.  It's not.  He previously had a play therapist.  She apparently came about every 2 weeks or so and watched him play at school.  She couldn't tell me anything about him, his needs, her concerns.  She said he played well with the kids at day care.  Obviously I can't keep her around.  I need to find someone that can actually HELP him as he tries to cope and make sense of the craziness he's witnessed lately.  It is ridiculously hard to get a good therapist.  They either don't ever call back, won't see him, or can't see him for almost 2 months.  While I know he is not in any kind of mental emergency there is no way for the counselors to know that.

It took many, many phone calls for me to find a good play therapist.  I will go tomorrow to see her.  She wanted to meet with me before meeting with him so that we could discuss the family dynamics.  Hopefully she can tell me what I'm doing wrong.  Maybe she'll even tell me I'm doing a thing or two right.  We'll see how it goes with her.  I get a good vibe from her.  She has a ton of experience with kids who have experienced trauma early in life, especially those related to foster and adoption.

Day Care - Yikes.  I have to drop my kiddos off every day during the work week starting tomorrow.  I'm a little nervous.  I am also slightly glad I can run errands without them for a few minutes.  I don't start back to work until Monday so we are easing on into this new world.  I will have to have my kids at their school by 6:45 every morning.  I will have to leave here no later than 6:30 with 4 lunches packed and everyone dressed.  I don't know how easy that will be at first.  But we will manage.

I don't know how good this day care is either.  Instead of me visiting several, taking recommendations from neighbors, etc. I had to choose one at the spur of the moment because that is what their case manager needed me to do.  Since we didn't plan on fostering I always assumed I could do day care my own way.  Since we are fostering we have to use the state approved places.  Hopefully all will go well though.  I'm sure it will.

The really sad part is that they can't miss very many days.  So when they have visits I will have to drop them off at date care afterwards.  During the summer I will have to take them to day care, at least for a little while.  Even when we have Thanksgiving and Christmas break I will have to take them.  :(  I guess it might be good for them to stick to their routine.  The good news is it doesn't matter how long I take them.  I can drop them off for lunch and nap time and then go right back and get them.

Naps - This is generally not the same thing as sleep. While I will admit to laying down some during those first overly exhausted weeks sleep is usually not something I get during nap time.  This is my time to get something done.  While I ranges from 1-3 hours and I can't tell which it will be I can usually count on this time to get a few things crossed off my to do list.  Which is great since I usually find a few things to add to it during this time as well.  We will see how much longer I can keep Little Mr. taking a nap.  Sometimes he sleeps now.  Sometimes he just lays there. Little Missy always naps well!

Sick - We have survived our first stomach bug.  Little Missy and I both had it.  It was bad.  We were both sick to our tummies, tired, cranky, and feeling horrible.  But I still had to be mom.  I don't think I would have made it through that nasty time if it wasn't for my hubby, and especially for my sister.

Sisters - Speaking of which, mine is the best.  Not only did she come down and take care of me and my kids when we were sick but she helped me clean and sanitize my house, let me take a nap, and even filled my car up with gas.  She is a rock star sister.  She is also a great aunt.  The kids loved her.  I wish she lived closer so they could get to know her even better.

TV - I'm a huge fan of little to NO TV for my kids.  I have not let Little Missy watch it at all.  I can't lie.  I have used it with Little Man a few times already.  When we were sick and sleep deprived I did let him watch Mickey Mouse (2 episodes!!!) simply so that I could put his sister down for a nap.  I may or may not have fallen asleep on the chair next to him while he watched it.

We also use movie nights as a reward.  Bedtimes have been rough, sometimes really rough.  We began a system where he earns a smiley face if he goes to bed like a big boy.  Once we gets all of his smiley faces he was supposed to get to stay up late.  We let him watch a movie the first time he did that.  It worked so well that we have just kept it up.  As he is getting better and better we are making him earn more smiley faces to get his reward.  So far we have watched the Great Mouse Detective and Frozen, both chosen by Big Steve.

Want more updates?  Maybe I'll try and give you a few more later this week while they are at school.

Update and Smiles!

It happened so fast.  We were told Friday we were approved.  Tuesday they called and made arrangements.  Today we had the best delivery ever, 2 of the sweetest babies ever!  We are all so happy and in love with these little guys!  

Little Missy is all smiles, especially when you have food.  She is learning to say please.  It sounds more like a snake hissing.  I love it. 

Mr. Man was asleep when they arrived.  Apparently waking him up from his short car nap after him missing nap time = Mr. Grouchy!  But we made it through the evening with only a few minor whiney issues.  He enjoyed watching Winnie the Pooh and reading Dinotrucks before bedtime.  I love my little man.

We sent out a letter to our family and friends so everyone is caught up.  They all know we decided to foster instead so that we could care for these little ones, for however long it will be.  

I'm exhausted and know I'll be hearing some cries in a couple of hours so I had better sleep while I can.  I have a feeling it will be hard to come by over the next few days...weeks...years!

Today is the Day Your Have Made

I will rejoice and be glad in it!  Yesterday we heard from our case manager that we are officially licensed as foster parents.  Today we heard that we should be getting a call soon to find out when the kids will officially be placed with us as their new foster parents.  My heart is full!

Tonight we had a great time playing.  Stephen always takes turns playing and reading with whichever kid is not in the tub after dinner.  Then I put the tiny little snuggle bunny to bed with a book and a few songs while he plays with Mr. Independent.  It was great.

We finished our evening off with a little bit of Lilo and Stitch and some Dr. Seuss.  Who could ask for me?

We will see what tomorrow brings us.  For now we are grateful for the time we have with these sweet darlings.

Fire Inspection Done

We are one step closer to be officially licened to foster so tat our 2 sweet loves could come home and become a part of our fmaily in hopes of an eventual adoption.  We are just awaiting final word from both case managers and their supervisors.  We will continue to wait and see.

Unti then I am excited to see them this weekend.  This will be our first full weekend with them.  2 Nights of fun and love!  They will also meet my inlaws.  We will see how that goes.  

I feel that I should be getting extra done at work in case I need to take a week or two off from work.  I would be more than excited about that!

I have begun researching day cares.  We will see what happens.  I'll take my research a bit further once I know more.  

Back to the waiting game...

Let's Get This Party Started

There is nothing like a conversation at 6 am with your husband that will change your whole life.  This morning he said we should for sure persue fostering these 2 love bugs.  I am super excited.  We know that it is not a guarantee.  These babies still have a long road ahead to become legally free to adopt.  At least we can be there for them until they find a forever home, hopefully ours.  

Right now whil they sleep I pray for their future and for ours.  I also look at Pinterest and find cute things we just HAVE to have.  

Our first hurdle is getting the case managers to agree that this is the best choice.  We are not officially licences to foster yet.  Case managers have been emailed.  We will wait and see what the future holds.  Only time will tell.  Until then...I'm off to search for the best high chairs.  We need that one ASAP.  

No Shower and I Don't Care!

Well we made it to Saturday.  When little man saw me he came running for a big hug.  That just made my day!  LIttle miss had the greatest smile when I picked her up.  We have had a great afternoon.  We went to the Pecan Street Festival so that they could go to the petting zoo.  I think they enjoyed it.  We also had ice scream (sno cones) which left the little cuties covered in blue.  

We still don't know what the future holds.  I prayed over both of these lovelies as I put them down to bed.  I pray that they find a safe forever home wherever it is supposed to be.  I pray that if it is with us we can be the best parents possible.  If it isn't with us I pray that I can be strong enough to handle missing them.  I pray for guidance we try and figure out what we are supposed to do.  

Tonight Little Man and I were reading before bed.  He chose one of the Veggie Tales stories.  When I read it to him and it mentioned listening to God he said, "We learned about God at chruch."  Yes, we sure did.  We will learn even more about him tomorrow at church.  I can't wait!

We also were able to spend a little bit of time outside showing the kids the telescope.  I don't really think Little Miss knew or cared what we were doing.  The boys sure did enjoy it though.  For once in his life Stephen took a photo with a kid and SMILED.  It is a miracle.  

Next weekend we plan on having them for 2 nights and taking them to a UT game.  We will see how that goes.  

I had better get to sleep.  Who knows who will wake me up first.  Will it be a cute little girl, a fun little boy, or one of these cats that is getting on my nerves right now?  Either way I know a full nights sleep is not very likely to happen.  I had better enjoy what rest I can get.  

Hurry Up

I cannot wait for Saturday afternoon.  We will get to spend another weekend with two little cuties!  I am beyond impatient.  I cannot keep those sweeties out of my mind.  We still don't know what the long term plan is.  I doubt we do know for a while.  

In the mean time we will continue working to persue our foster certification.  I have our fire inspection next Tuesday.  The county said they cannot schedule our health inspection until early December.  We submitted their letter stating that.  We submitted all of the rest of the required paperwork.  I guess nowe we are playing the waiting game again.

We still have not decided if we want to for sure foster these darlings or just try and continue to have fun with them on weekends until their future is a bit more solid.  CUrrently the state is attemtping to locate extended family for placement.  It seems they are having a little bit of trouble doing that. 

We would love it if they could stay in their current foster home a bit longer since we they are so great about letting us keep the kids.  It would also be beneficial because it would keep the kids from moving around so much.  We will just have to wait and see what the future holds.  

However and whenever our family is supposed to expand it will.  Until then we wait, pray, and try not to be too overly anxious!  

Who Knows?!?!?!?!??

I have had a lot of "bad" days lately.  I keep getting anxious, stressed, or upset.  It is usually at times when it doesn't make sense.  I can't keep my mind off of my kids.  I don't know them or where they are but I love them and pray for them constantly.  While I know that the lord will lead them to me at the right time I still can't keep my mind at ease.

This weekend was crazy.  We have friends providing foster care.  We met them when they sat next to us throughout our classes.  I may not always agree with 100% of their decisions but I support their interest in fostering.  I wish we could.  Stephen has always said that he can't parent kids that aren't his.  Adoption is different.  We know that the end result is them as our kids.  He can love them like they deserve.  The idea of kids coming and going scares him and he doesn't think he can do it.

I always support my husbands ideas/thoughts about adoption.  We don't always agree but I always back him.  I say 3 or 4.  He say's 2 or 3.  We go with what he says.  He is more particular about what types of children we would be able to parent.  I take his lead.

When the friends that foster emailed and wanted us to provide respite care I was fine with it.  At first Stephen said no.  We had a busy weekend already scheduled.  We have been very busy lately.  But ultimately he didn't care since he knew I would be the one "dealing with them" most of the time.

I went ahead and agreed to watch them Saturday night.  I figured we would get them, feed them dinner, play a bit, bedtime, church, lunch, return home.  Easy cheesy right?  We arranged the whole thing via email.  I heard parts of their story as well.

By Saturday night I went downstairs and talked to Stephen for a few minutes before we started in on baths.  He said he thought I should email our case manager and tell her we wanted her to keep us updated on them in case they became legally free for adoption.  Of course I agreed!

Stephen doesn't do bath times.  I'm fine with that.  I did ask him to help me by watching one kid while I bathed the other.  He agreed.  He sat and read with each kid in turn.  Once I had them both bathed and dressed I told him I was done and he could be relieved of his duties.  He didn't.  He kept on reading.  Since he hates reading and had a video game he was in the middle of the fact that he decided to read to the little rambunctious boy was amazing.

Sunday morning I took the kids to church.  I hadn't slept well, mostly due to the cats and my own stress.  Still we made a donut run and made it on time.  Little Man did great going into his classroom.  Little Missy stayed with me.  She was great.  I held her and rocked her throughout most of church.  We had to make an escape to the cry room for the last few minutes.  Afterwards we met Stephen for lunch.  The kids went down for naps fairly easily.  Little Man does have a little bit of a desire to be right and repeat himself when he  disagrees.  He repeated NO for 15 minutes straight because he wanted a bath before nap and I said no. Nonetheless they fell asleep and I got a little rest at the same time.

Afterwards we went to the park.  The kids loved it.  I had a great time, even if my butt was sweating much more than I care to experience.  We came home just in time to meet up with their foster parents.

Before they arrived I asked Stephen if he thought we could offer to help them out and watch them again next weekend for a night.  He felt that we should offer to help each weekend until a permanency plan in put in place.

We have told the foster parents who were ecstatic.  Because of the needs of their biological child they are struggling with this placement.  They do not feel it is a good fit.  They would be more than happy to have us watch the sweeties for a night or two on weekends.

We also emailed out case manager and updated her on our desires.  We will see what she says.

The way we see it we can at least give these kiddos some fun on weekends for a few weeks.  Ideally we would like to see them on weekends and whenever needed as a means of helping their current foster placement in hopes that they could stay where they are at rather than being moved long enough to get an idea of their placement needs.  The state is still trying to communicate with extended family to see if anyone is willing and able to take the kids.  In the event that none come forward and they are not reunited with their biological parents we would love to be their parents.

This is a lot of speculating.  We really know nothing right now.  All I know now is hope that these kids find the loving and safe home they deserve.  I also know that despite what he says my husband has a huge heart that is open and ready to father some little babies.

Up and Down and Up and Down

The call we have waited months...really years...finally came.  You are going to be a mom.  They picked you.  All we have left is to take the recommendation to the judge and then we can start transitioning the kids.  We were told the judge almost always agrees with the case manager in situations like this.  Apparently that wasn't the case.  Rather than place those 2 sweet kids with us they would prefer to broadcast the kids again and see if anyone else would like to parent them.  It's heartbreaking.

I don't know why we weren't chosen.  I guess I don't need to know.  It just means that whoever is out there waiting for us to parent them is still waiting.  The time must not be right.  In my mind and in my heart I know that.  It still doesn't make the waiting easier.

Occasionally I have a great deal of anxiety.  I wish I knew how to remove that completely.

The good news it will all be worth it in the end.  When our kids get home everything will have been more than worth it.  We are waiting to hear back about yet another sibling set.  We will see what comes of that.  So far the 24 kids/siblings groups we have inquired on have not gone anywhere.  Who knows.  In the right time it will all work out.  Until then I'll watch Ellen, work a lot, and try and find ways to keep my mind off of what our future family will look like and when it will grow.

A Different Kind of Waiting

Originally I started this blog because I wanted to keep track of our process to adopt our babies.  I knew it would be hard.  I knew it would be an up and down process.  I knew that it would take a long time.  I knew that patience would be difficult for me.  Yet, knowing doesn't necessarily prepare you for it.

I have not updated this blog much because most of the time it is just too hard.  I am either angry, sad, or a little of both.  The entire process doesn't always make sense to me.  I don't always feel listened to.  I feel like we are going in circles.  

We have went months without hearing much from our case manager.  We have inquired about dozens of children and siblings groups.  Not hearing a response after a while makes you doubt if the case managers think you will be good parents.  Eventually I realized that our case manager may not be submitting out home study when we request it.  

Today we did get a phone call.  While sitting in a meeting our case manager called.  She said that we had been chosen for an 8 year old boy and his 6 year old sister.  At first I was excited.  I am trying to keep myself calm because I know that doesn't mean I am a mom yet.  The judge still has to approve us and we still have to see the kids file to get all of the gory details.  

Stephen is a bit worried because the boy has autism.  That doesn't bother me.  I know we can handle it.  He wants to see what his educational goals are right now.  

Pray that if these are our children they are kept safe and happy throughout the process.  If these are not meant to be our children pray that I have the strength to work through it.  

Tomorrow our case manager (says she) will send off our life-book so that their case manager can share it with the judge.  If he approves us (which he should) we will be sent their folders to review.  I hope this all goes quickly one way or another.  It is almost time to start back to school.  I want to be sure that they can get settled into their school wherever it may be as soon as it is feasible.  

Off to play the waiting game some more.  Maybe tonight I can sleep.  Maybe not.  We'll see how it all turns out!

Our Home Study

My word!  That took almost 5 hours!  Our home study was a short preview of our home followed by 3 long interviews.  First she interviewed me since Stephen was still at work.  I'm an open book so I really didn't mind.  Then she interviewed us both once Stephen made it home.  Finally she interviewed him alone.  It should take a few weeks for her to write everything up and submit our home study.

The interview questions were very detailed.  They dealt with our marriage, our free time, our history with each other, our childhood, discipline ideas and history, how we would deal with certain behaviors, and what we would do about our cat.  I really expected most of the questions.  I wasn't too shocked about any of them.

After our home study we had to wait about 6 weeks for everything to be "official" on paper.  They kept coming back for more questions, most of which were about our cat or our siblings.  It seems like the questions that they asked as follow up questions should have been asked initially.

I'm not really sure how it all went.  We didn't see the actual home study.  Our next step is to wait and tell our FAD worker which kids we are interested in so that she can pass our home study along.  Fingers crossed!

(I wrote most of this back in February/March.  I wasn't sure if I should publish it or not.  It is hard to put into words what we felt during the home study.  We stuck to some very basic facts.  Thinking about adopting or have questions about the home study process?  Just ask!)

My Head Is Spinning

So much seems to have happened in the past week.  Some good....some bad...some I don't yet know.

Yesterday we brought home a new addition to our family...a 2 1/2 month old kitten.  We are calling him Prince Butters.  Big Steve refers to him as Butters.  He refuses to say Prince.  We'll see how long that lasts.  He is currently alone in one of our kids bedrooms with toys, litter, food, water, and lots to jump and climb on.  We will work on introducing him and Callie to each other slowly.  She is pretty territorial so we will see how it goes.  He seemed very shy at first.  He would hide when we came into the room.  Now he does some sniffing and slowly comes out when I am in the room.  The minute he seems me and I start making a petting motion with my hands his purr box goes crazy.  He is warming up to his daddy as well, just a little more slowly.

Today we are going to a match event.  As of right now I am very much against the very idea.  My husband and FAD worker both convinced me that I should give it a try anyway.  I do not want to go.  :(  Mainly I do not want kids to have to go through this.  I don't think it is fair for kids to have to play and feel like they need to put on a show in order to find a forever home.  It seems wrong.  Maybe my opinion will change afterwards.  I doubt it.

Thursday we were also notified via a phone call from our FAD worker that we have been picked to be part of a RAS for siblings we submitted our home study for.  Next Thursday our case manager will have a phone conference with their case manager and answer questions for each other.  This will happen with 2 other chosen families.  Then one family will be chosen to possibly parent these 2 cuties.  This is my understanding of the process.

Of course I'd love to be chosen.  I am trying not to get my hopes up.  I know that this process may happen many, many, many more times before we are finally matched with our babies.  I also know that our kids are out there somewhere only God know where they are or when we get to meet them.  Until then I can just do my best with each situation that arises and pray for strength and peace until the day we know.  So that's what I'll do.

I'll snuggle both of my kittens extra until I have my babies to snuggle!

Exactly How I Feel

I saw this photo and it made me think of you babies.  It is exactly how I feel.  I can't wait to meet you and hope you are happy and healthy wherever you are.

Still Waiting

Little Ones,

Last Sunday was fathers day.  We were in Portland for your uncles graduation.  I bet you would have loved being able to hang out with your cousins.  Your daddy wanted to go to the science museum.  I hope you love museums.  You'll visit a lot of them!  He wanted to practice teaching me about the different exhibits.  He thought that would make it easier to explain to you how things works.  He loves doing that.  He can't wait to start teaching you all about science.

He just got a telescope.  I know he can't wait to show you the planets, stars, moon, and the sun.

Some days your daddy can drive me nuts.  But he is going to be a great dad.  You will learn to love him.  He loves you already in his own special way.

We can't wait to meet you.

XOXO,

Your Waiting Mommy

Update....There is no update!

I started this blog with the hopes of keeping a record of our adoption journey.  Honestly, I'm just not able to.  Each time I have attempted to update I have started a draft and not been able to finish it.  We are officially 100% done.  We are just waiting.We have completed 100% of what we are expected to do.  We have officially been certified as an adoptive home for 2 children ages 0-8.  We have been provided a few different broadcasts to look at and have inquired into several children.  So far no match has been made.

This is what we expected.  We knew it would take a while.  We knew there would be waiting.  We knew that it would probably take several inquiries before we were matched. It is still hard.  Some days are harder than others.  I don't do well with quiet time or free time which really stinks because I have been very busy at work.  My stress level go very high in May and June.  I guess it is a good thing because it keeps me from having as much time to think about how sad I am that I wasn't able to take maternity leave.  I would really have loved to spend my summer with my kids rather than sitting around waiting for them.

Our kids are out there.  We don't know where.  We don't know when we get to meet them.  We are just waiting for God to show us what path he has for us.  We continue to pray for our kids wherever they are.  We pray that they are safe and cared for until the time that we get to be there to care for them and love them.

I will try and keep everyone updated ever so often if I can.  Although there really isn't anything to say until we can tell everyone that we are parents.  Hopefully that will happen soon.

I Would Rather Be Tired

On the one hand being in bed at 10:00 on a Saturday morning is great.  I do love to sleep in!  However, I would trade it in a heartbeat to have my little ones waking me up at the crack of dawn to make them breakfast and play all day in this beautiful weather.  It is extremely frustrating because I am out of stuff to do to prepare for my babies coming home.  Everything else that needs to be done can't be done until we know more about them.

We have held off on making long term plans.  It doesn't seem right.  We don't want to plan ahead of fun things when we would rather just be spending that time at home bonding with our kids.  I feel like I should be doing the opposite.  I should continue to make plans and then get excited if I have to cancel them because my kids arrive.

Tomorrow morning we will wait around for the delivery of our new oven.  Sometime this week they should be delivering and installing the rest of our appliances.  I suppose that is something to look forward to.  I have not been able to cook in an oven since November.  I am glad we finally made a decision and purchased something.  Tomorrow night we are having Papa Murphy's pizza for dinner for sure!

So far we still do not have our home study even scheduled.  I really had hoped that they would at the very least call to schedule that this week.  So far nothing.  I will contact our FAD worker Monday and check in.  I also plan on talking to her about respite care.  That would allow us to care for other people's kids until our get here.

In the end it will all be worth it.  Until then it is a pretty lonely place around here.  I am just trying to find ways to keep myself occupied.  This weekend I am doing that by spending time with my sister.  She came to stay a few days.  Her job allows her one day a year to volunteer.  She offered to use that day to help me in the library.  She was able to shelve ALL of our books.  If you are a librarian with no parent volunteers you know how huge this is!  She was also able to finish scanning the everybody books, graphic novels, and magazines for inventory.  The bonus was having someone to eat lunch with and go to the mall with.

The other big weekend event was that we finally set up our IRA.  I suppose now I am really an adult.  I know we should have already started it but better late than never.  Hopefully between out TRS accounts and our IRA we won't be too broke when we retire.  That is just 23 years away!

I suppose at some point I should get up and shower and be productive today.  I don't think staying in bed and farting around on the internet is the best use of my time.  Moping around won't bring my babies home any sooner.  

Frustrated

AHHH!  I begin my last blog post thinking we had everything together.  We had turned in all of our paperwork, completed everything we were asked, and had their rooms as together as we could get considering we don't know ages, genders, or preferences yet.  I'm heartbroken to hear from our FAD worker that home study is not only not complete yet but not even started.  She originally said it would be done before this weekend.  Now we are told that she isn't going to do it.  She is going to contract it out.  I feel like somewhere in this process communication obviously broke down.

While I have spent years and years planning and preparing for this process I knew that there would be mountains of paperwork and lots of time to wait and wait.  I was shocked that the amount of paperwork I needed to complete.  It was nowhere near as bad I thought it would be.

I don't know what to think right now.  I'm just sad.  I'd really like to know when my babies are coming home.  Obviously I won't know that for a very long time.  I need to continue to remind myself to be patient.  I suppose I'll keep my blog updated whenever I find out more.  

Check, Check, and Check!

This past weekend was almost perfect.  We were just missing 2 things!  I can't wait to hear the names, ages, and genders of those 2 sweet babies.  I really wish we had them already.  We have officially finished EVERYTHING that is required for our adoption thus far.

We are awaiting our FBI fingerprints but apparently they are backed up and everyone is waiting on those.  We also took our CPR and First Aid class.  Hopefully we never need to use that information but at least we are ready if we need it.

Now that we have the paperwork done and turned in we have been finding household projects to work on while we wait.  Here are two we finished this weekend.  I can't wait to fill all of these tubs with toys.  The dresses was Stephen's when he was a kid.  We changed out handles because the old ones were broken.  It's not much but we don't want to buy any new furniture until we know what our kids want and need.

Home Study Complete

YAY!  We made it through our home study.  Our finger prints are done.  We had some fun times together and with the in laws today.  We had a great time together.  I'd say it was a fantastic day.

First the social worker came over for our home study today.  I was a bit nervous about the types of questions she would ask, if we would be missing anything, and if she would think everything was ready to move forward with looking for kids once we finish our classes.  We only have 3 more left to attend!

As soon as she got to our house we began the tour of Casa de Seals.  She said she liked our house.  She saw were our babies will be sleeping, our in-laws room, the study, the kitchen, bathrooms, our bedroom, and the backyard.  Then we sat down in the living room where she started doing paperwork and asking us questions.  I was prepared for a full background investigation.  That is not what I got.  The most intrusive question she asked was how many kids we wanted.  I let Big Steve answer that one.  He told her 2 but that I would rather have 10.  He might be right about that.

The only problem we have is that we did not have 2 large fire extinguishers or a posted evacuation plan.  We have already taken care of the fire extinguishers.  The evacuation plan is in the works.

It would be slightly helpful if the state had a list of requirements for us to look at to be sure we had everything we needed.  Apparently I'm not the only one that feels that way.  At least we have been able to go back and do all of the "We forgot you also need..." things fairly quickly.

Currently I am creating a photo book on Snapfish to give to our children.  It has photos of us, our home, Callie, extended family, vacation, and life in general.  I can't wait to make one that includes our kids as well.  Hopefully that will happen sooner rather than later.  I feel like their arrival is getting so close and yet I know it's not.  We still have a few more things on our to do list and have to be matched with children.

We also made time for dinner and golf with the family this evening.  We went to main event.  WOW!  I have never been.  I think that will be a great family fun place to visit in the future.  You can play mini golf, bowling, rock climbing, games, and much more!  I am sure we can make some great family memories there!

I'm a Lean Mean Cleaning Machine...Well Maybe Not Too Lean!

Yikes!  Tomorrow is our home study.  I cannot wait and yet I don't feel ready for it.  Don't get me wrong.  I love it because I know that we will be one step closer to meeting our little loves.  I am stressed that maybe I forgot something.  What if she doesn't like something?  What if she feels something about us or our home will keep us from being great parents?  Clearly this is illogical.  Our home and our hearts are ready for the special ones that are out there getting ready for their forever homes.  I continually stop and pray for patience and peace.  If I just had a little more of those 2 things I think I would be much better off.

We have 3 more PRIDE classes left.  Surely we can handle that!  Tomorrow once the social worker leaves we will head to our finger printing appointment.  The Saturday after our classes we will take our CPR and First Aid course.  We also need to make a family book and a flyer to "advertise" ourselves to case managers.  Everything has been done.  At least I think it has been done.  Each meeting I seem to learn about a new hurdle or hoop, a missing piece of paper work, or something that they  haven't told us we needed yet.

Tonight I will clean up this almost clean house, fix the dresser for baby #2, and enjoy some relaxation with some of my friends.  Hopefully that will be enough to keep me occupied and stress free so I am ready for our home study.  I took half a day off of work so that I would be sure I had plenty of time to finish everything on my to do list.  

I found out the procedure from HR for when I take my leave once these little sweetie pies arrive.  I will get 49 paid days off.   I can take 60 but the last 11 won't be paid.   I'm not sure how many of those I will actually use.  I guess I won't know until they get here and I find out how old they are, what they need, and see how things begin to work with our new schedules.  For someone that likes to have everything all planned out way in advance I am REALLY working hard to be flexible and patient.  This entire process is like one giant lesson in learning patience and flexibility.

Back to laundry and toilet cleaning...as if those things alone will make or break our chances of starting the family we have been waiting so long for.
    

Ringing in the New Year

We rung in the New Year like crazy people.  We watched South Park while lying on the couch until the fireworks started going off last night.  Then we tried to go to sleep but couldn't because of the noisy people outside.  It was nice to sleep until 10:15 though.

2013 has brought us lots of crazy ups and downs.  I know this time of the year lots of people focus on what has happened in the past year.  I'd rather not do that.  We have 6 days until we begin our PRIDE classes.  I am looking forward to what the new year brings.  Hopefully that includes our babies that refuse to let me sleep in so late.

We leave Arkansas tomorrow.  We have one more day with the family to celebrate.  S and I will spend it going out to dinner, I'm sure I'll do some shopping, and we will get to packing for the long car ride tomorrow.  I can't wait for next year when we spend the first day of the new year with our babies!  

Waiting and Waiting and Waiting...

We have so far been officially waiting for just over a month now.  We were supposed to begin our PRIDE classes last week but the instructor was sick so now it seems our start day is supposed to be this Wednesday.  We will also have class on Saturday.  

I don't think I should complain about the waiting process.  This is just the beginning.  We could finish up our classes and then wait and wait for the arrival of our kids.  To pass the time we are focusing on cleaning and getting the house ready.  We just finished our bedroom, cleaned out the kids closest, and moved their dresser into their bedroom.   We organized the file cabinet, got together forms for the taxes for the year, and have been researching what we need to get in terms of life insurance and opening an IRA.  

While all of that is terrible and boring it beats sitting around being mopey and sad about all of the waiting.  Hopefully this time will give us the opportunity to ensure that everything is together and ready for the arrival of our kids whenever they get here.  Once they get here they will be our sole focus and messy cabinets will be something we don't even have time to worry about.  

I wish I knew the plans but in the end I always realize that had I gotten what I wanted when I wanted it I would have missed out on some great blessings.  I repeat this verse to myself over and over again whenever I feeling stressed about the unknown and the waiting.